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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Story of Regret

There was this guy who believed very much in true love and decided to take his time to wait for his right girl to appear. He believed that there would definitely be someone special out there for him, but none came.
Every year at Christmas, his ex-girlfriend would return from Vancouver to look him up. He was aware that she still held some hope of re-kindling the past romance with him. He did not wish to mislead her in any way. So he would always get one of his girl friends to pose as his steady whenever she came back. That went on for several years and each year, the guy would get a different girl to pose as his romantic interest. So whenever the ex-girlfriend came to visit him, she would be led into believing that it was all over between her and the guy. The girl took all those rather well, often trying to casually tease him about his different girlfriends, or so, as it seemed! In fact, the girl often wept in secret whenever she saw him with another girl, but she was too proud to admit it. Still, every Christmas, she returned, hoping to re-kindle some form of romance. But each time, she returned to Vancouver feeling disappointed.
Finally she decided that she could not play that game any longer. Therefore, she confronted him and professed that after all those years, he was still the only man that she had ever loved. Although the guy knew of her feelings for him, he was still taken back and have never expected her to react that way. He always thought that she would slowly forget about him over time and come to terms that it was all over between them. Although he was touched by her undying love for him and wanted so much to accept her again, he remembered why he rejected her in the first place-she was not the one he wanted. So he hardened his heart and turned her down cruelly. Since then, three years have passed and the girl never return anymore. They never even wrote to each other. The guy went on with his life..... still searching for the one but somehow deep inside him, he missed the girl.
On the Christmas of 1995, he went to his friend's party alone. "Hey, how come all alone this year? Where are all your girlfriends? What happened to that Vancouver babe who joins you every Christmas?", asked one of his friend. He felt warm and comforted by his friend's queries about her, still he just surged on.
Then, he came upon one of his many girlfriends whom he once requested to pose as his steady. He wanted so much to ignore her ..... not that he was impolite, but because at that moment, he just didn't feel comfortable with those girlfriends anymore. It was almost like he was being judged by them. The girl saw him and shouted across the floor for him. Unable to avoid her, he went up to acknowledge her.
"Hi......how are you? Enjoying the party?" the girl asked.
"Sure.....yeah!", he replied.
She was slightly tipsy..... must be from the whiskey on her hand. She continued,
"Why...? Don't you need someone to pose as your girlfriend this year?" Then he answered, "No, there is no need for that anymore......"
Before he can continue, he was interrupted, "Oh yes! Must have found a girlfriend! You haven't been searching for one for the past years, right?" The man looked up, as if he has struck gold, his face beamed and looked directly at the drunken girl. He replied, "Yes......you are right! I haven't been looking for anyone for the past years."
With that, the man darted across the floor and out the door, leaving the lady in much bewilderment. He finally realized that he has already found his dream girl, and she was.....the Vancouver girl all along! The drunken lady has said something that awoken him.
All along he has found his girl. That was why he did not bother to look further when he realized she was not coming back. It was not any specific girl he was seeking! It was perfection that he wanted, and yes.....perfection!!
Relationship is something both parties should work on. Realizing that he had let away someone so important in his life, he decided to call her immediately. His whole mind was flooded with fear. He was afraid that she might have found someone new or no longer had the same feelings anymore..... For once, he felt the fear of losing someone.
As it was Christmas eve, the line was quite hard to get through, especially an overseas call. He tried again and again, never giving up. Finally, he got through......precisely at 1200 midnight. He confessed his love for her and the girl was moved to tears. It seemed that she never got over him! Even after so long, she was still waiting for him, never giving up.
He was so excited to meet her and to begin his new chapter of their lives. He decided to fly to Vancouver to join her. It was the happiest time of their lives! But their happy time was short-lived. Two days before he was supposed to fly to Vancouver, he received a call from her father. She had a head-on car collision with a drunken driver. She passed away after 6 hours in a coma.
The guy was devastated, as it was a complete loss. Why did fate played such cruel games with him? He cursed the heaven for taking her away from him, denying even one last look at her! How cruel he cursed! How he damned the Gods...!! How he hated himself....for taking so long to realize his mistake!! That was in 1996.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I don't want to stay in this place anymore

I wanna leave home,and go somewhere else alone,
I want to live myself,
Because i had did so much,
So i understand it,
Well,your words was quite mean,
But i know i deserve it.
So i wanna leave here,and go to overseas,
Have my own life,
BUT!!!
Dudes,please remember if you dislike me,then just get away from me,
Don't give me so much damages,i will sick of dealing with it,
Well,i know i am having miserable life right now,
And i hope can like my friends,
Don't have soooo many friends,
Yet they live peacefully and quietly,
I'm trying to be socializing person,
But can't perhaps my attitude and my mind,
You wouldn't know,because you wasn't beside me,
But god will know everything,God is always watching and take care of me
I always hope i can like a Pilot,fly up to the atmosphere and feeling the natural phenomenal,
I regret for everything i did since i was small,
But it's too late,times can't play back,
So what can i do? Ignorance? Tolerance? or Offence?
My mind was empty because i don't what to do,
I'm not finding excuses for myself,
But something will always wash my mind,
Malaysia,Kuala Lumpur is such a sad place for me,
Because i feel helpless when i need help,
I feel lonely when i'm alone,
But who knows? No one knows.
I try to laugh and keep in my heart.....but it doesn't work,
By the way,since you wanna draw a line between me and you,
I just support your idea.

But do remember my heart wasn't a ranking heart,
I only can put 1 person in my heart not 10 peoples,
Perhaps i'll find another one.


I always feel inadequate for what i'm having now,
And recently few lessons had taught me up,
I shouldn't be so GENTLEMEN anymore,
Because people will think i am affectation,
So no point to be it anymore,
Just become myself.
That's all i can say............

Bye Bye dudes!!!!

Monday, November 1, 2010

My Fault for Making Your Life a Scar

I don't mean to create a scar in your life,
But please another angle to look at my situation,
I'm not cheating you or what,
I just wanna your life better you know?
I know i had made the biggest mistake,
I shouldn't did at first,
Now i hurt you,but i am not purposely did it,
TRUST ME PLEASE!!!!
However things goes on,you're still my friend,
We are still friend!!!!
You can choose to hate me,
But don't list me with few of the idiots,
Because i'm not talking any lies to you,
You know that,i don't like your reply,
Because its so straight to me!
PLEASE OKAY?
Forgive my stupid attitude.
I'll stand by you quietly,
And pray for you,
I isn't the one you think,
So just beg for a forgiveness from you.




My life is so miserable.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Please!!!

Why do you need watch me like a kid?
Am i immature?
Give me some answer please,
I put 200% effort on the work,
But why you always disagree it?
If you want me to be a greatest scholar,
Sorry i can't do it,please forget about it.
You always compare me to others!!!!
I am stupid so what?
Does it makes criminal case to you?
Cannot means cannot,
You can't force it okay!!!!!

Why Why Why?
Fuck it man!!!






Okay get up another topic,
I just very hate her,
Why is she always trying get sympathy from him,
Well,i just trying to warn you,don't mess up with me,
You'll need to pay off many thing SUCKER!!!!







SPM around the corner.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

FUCK!!!

Can you tell me what's going on?
What happen to you?
Why do you ignoring me?
You should tell me a reason right?
Tell me lah!!!!
Ooi,what's going on o???
I just feel that my life are so miserable.
If i did anything had  offend you,tell me lah,
Don't let me guess please,
Yes,x xxxx xxx......
Can't you feel it?
Well,i'm waiting your reply to me now.
Your 1 reply to me,
Can replace thousand happiness to me.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

When i think of you.

I wonder if you are thinking of me
I miss the times when we were together
Hand in hand like it used to be
I wish those moments could have been forever
Looking up to the stars ,choosing which one we would chase
I want to be forever in your embrace
My heart keeps whispering your name
So many times that it drives me insane
…But you are miles away
When I think of you at night
I cant help but to cry
I long for that day when I see you again
Because to me your not just a best friend
You’ve rescued me more then once
Its you who I can depend on
I want you to know how much I love you
I wish that I was brave enough to kiss you
So you would understand my feelings for you
These words come from my heart
A little spot that I know you will forever love

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Wondering

I just wondering why????
Why debts can take a person life away?
Why gambling can take a person life away?
Why a person can be so stingy?
Why a person can be so cruel?
Why a person can be so useless?
Why a person can be very good in acting?

Come on,GOD i know you're a good man,
Please bless all of us,
My life was very miserable recently,who can tell me why?
A lot silly problem happened this month,
Who the fuck made it?
I got so many question marks inside my mind,
Please Please Please,
GOD,made me some miracle,
I was stuck with bunch of problem,
And i couldn't solve,
A 17 old teen can't do anything,
Its makes self feel useless,
Why this world can be so cruel?
I was given a lot of challenge since small,
Please use another way to born me up.
I need a proper family life,
Stop giving so many problem to us.
I still need to study,i need to become a professional in the future,
Please do help me pursue my dream,don't abolish it.
Please Please Please Please Please.
Wealth not the important thing,
Health and Peace is the most important thing in our life.
Please no more ROLLER COASTER IN my life.





GOD,PLEASE PASS BY ME!!!
Just bless us.
I'll pray for it.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

你要开心。

你要开心点,你知道吗?
每次你伤心,我也不会好过,
因为你愁眉苦面,我也不会眉开眼笑,
但是,如果我看见你微笑,自然而然,我也会笑,
因为,我以经被你的笑容深深地吸引了。




还有一样东西是,非常糟糕,
我竟然在考试时,不会写华语字了。

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Damn hate it!

WTH,who you think i am, Mafia? or Gangster?
Please use a better way to let me study,
Not forcing me,force doesn't work,
It will made over effect,i was trying to be a good son infront you,
But why you always think that i'm bad?
I went out for dinner/drinking with friends also can't?
I just drink normal drink,NOT ALCOHOL,
Why can't yo just understand my situation?
I got so many question mark from you.

You cannot compare to the others,
Me is me,Derrick Wan,
Yeah,i can't get good result,i am not like other people son,
Get flying colours in their exam result,
But i at least become a great son in front of you,
I don't smoke,
My friends call me to drink alcohol drink,i refuse to drink it and reject it,
I din hang out till midnight,
I din mix with gangster/mafia,
Because i know dislike,
So i always try my best to do my duty as a son,
I respect you,what you ask me i will answer you patiently,
You call me teach you anything,i will teach you patiently,
But please don't depend on you daily mood to treat me,
I always do my best,and i will get a damn return.

I get a driving license,not for drifting/racing with friends,
I just wanna convenient you,
I can go my training myself,
I can go play sports myself,
Because you always not very willing to fetch me,
And i know,you care of my safety,
But why can't you just teach me few lesson first?
I'm willing to let you teach.

I just hope i can get what i want,
And family support is very important to me,
I'm keeping my finger cross,and waiting the god pass by,
No matter,how you treat me,
You're still ranking in my heart,
I wouldn't forget how to care me when i was small,
I promise i will pay you back TRIPLE when i grow up,
I just hope you can support me,
And understand my situation and know what i want it now.








                                                                                   Well,at here i wish YOU and HIM happy always.
                                                                                   The boy deserve to have you,
                                                                                   Because he's better than me x100000
                                                                                   And i will always support you spiritually,
                                          
                                                                    Tell me when you falling,i will hold you like i'm holding
                                                                    The wooden marionette.




Back of every creation, supporting it like an arch, is faith. Enthusiasm is nothing: it comes and goes. But if one believes, then miracles occur.
Henry Miller

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I Heart You!

哈哈!我写这封给你看的,但是我不懂写什么。
最近的生活吧!
每天看到你,都会很开心。
你拥有甜美的笑容!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Am i stupid?

Today was my 3rd time for the car driving lesson,
But i still wondering why i can't control the machine well?
Am i that stupid? I got no idea,
Once i step into the car i told myself not to worry and be calm,
Perhaps i can perform well for the first 20 minutes,
After that when the car on the road,
My mind was empty and stop working,
Once the uncle command me to do i only move,just like a robot,
It make me feel anxious this few days,
When i haven't start the lesson i was so desperate for a P license plate,
But after 3 lesson of driving i feel tasteless,
Anyone can teach me how to release anxiety?
Its annoy me, FUCK!!!!
And also the engine ran out several times,
Why does manual car so difficult to control it,DAMN!!!
My car exam is on next Monday and yet i still can't control the machine well,
What should i do? Please give me some tips *ANNOYING*
Its freaking costly for the car exam,so i don't want to waste the money again,
I need some way that can release anxiety easily.

Competition,Exams and Confessions always make me feel anxious,
Please teach me how to sack off this bloody habit.

God Bless Me!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Mood Up and Down.

Well,today just a normal day for me,
But when i log in my FB just now,
You post something you love it but i jealous bout it!!!
But well this is your own choice to choose,
So i'll just support you spiritually in my heart,
But i guess you wouldn't receive it,
Actually i shouldn't continue love you secretly when i heard that you crush on HIM,
I'm a stupid dumb ass.


God will bless you with him forever and ever,
And i will continue loitering around,
Like a Nerd!


Monday, September 6, 2010

Ain't my day. Happy and Unhappy issue happened in 1 day.

The first thing make me happy was i went to gym with my friends,
And i finally break my record that was i can spend 30 minutes on cardio,
Finally i did that,because usually i just can stand there for 20 minutes,
But today perhaps my body was in a good status hahaha!!!
We spend our time in gym for about 3 hours,
And had our lunch at 1U,
Then wait for bus (My second time of taking bus lol and it was freaking tough.),


Then second thing make me feel very unhappy is i met 2 blady fool motor cyclist,
Their behavior were very suspicious,
So i quickly ran back to my house,
And been warned by someone,
Come on,please tell me why malaysia got so many snatch thief and robbery!!!
I HATE THEM!!!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Hurray!!!

Hurray,finally holidays come,
But i got no idea what to do,
Perhaps get  a job to cover my daily expenses!!!
Study i am freaking lazy to do that haha,
But good news for me i am going to learn how to drive a car,
Second lesson now,and i still anxious for controlling the machine,
It was freaking mess.
But just pray for me,i will pass and get my P,
So that i can go for Judo alone,
And get into Gym for eye candies lol,
And lastly i can date my love one to Cinema hahahaha.
By the way it's time for fight now!!!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Half day pleasure.

Yesterday,me and my family went to Kuala Selangor for EATING,
I'm sure myself gonna be gain more weight again,
Because we ate Crab Beehoon,Fishball soup and some specialty of there.

But 1 thing wasn't make me satisfy is the weather in there was damn hot,
I couldn't stand for even 5 minutes under the sun,
But in Kuala Selangor got a lot of local product,
Such as fishballs,fisheries,crabie perhaps some cuttlefish,
And of course we bought a lot of goods back to KL.

At there i saw a lot of hot chicks (Eye Candies),
So it's a great place to go again.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Where did you go?

Tell me where did you go?
I miss you like crazy,
Your smile can cheer up my life,
Your voice can light up my life,
Everytime when you look at me and smile,
My heartbeat/pulse will increase rapidly,
You are everything to me lol.

Love is always like water,
We can drown it,
We can drink it,
But we can live without it.


Actually i create this blog,is to express myself feeling,
But always something weird happen,
I always miss you when i woke up,
Cause you are everything to me.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Tired!!!

Feel very tired recently and some more i get Black Eye,
Sigh....my days just always went normal,
Why can't i get something irritating? But better not (Silly Question),
Sometimes some people always make me get mad with them,
What to do? somebody told me this id what school life. WTH
Facing all the stupid fellow,makes me feel wanna fight,but can't
So i told myself,tolerate is always the best way to ignore idiot.

So here i need to thanks Clay Aiken
And Kris Allen
 
Their awesome voice always cheer up my mood and let me think about YOU!!!

Lastly,i should always remind my self to 
STUDY,STUDY,STUDY AND STUDY.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Random

When two people
meet and fall in love,
there's a sudden rush of magic.
Magic is just naturally present then.
We tend to feed on that
gratuitous magic without striving
to make any more.
One day we wake up
and find that
the magic is gone.
We hustle to get it back,
but by then
it's usually too late,
we've used it up.
What we have to do
is work like hell
at making additional magic
right from the start.
It's hard work,
but if we can remember to do it,
we greatly improve
our chances of making love stay.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Status down!!!

I feel very depress today,
I don't know why because the feel came it suddenly,
I feel very lonely and helpless,
I was tired to face thing now,
GOD,please help me,
I wan a peaceful life,
I need to look for a Psychologist,
I need counseling.
I just realize that,i really miss you recently,
How come you're so cool to me?
Tell me why,
I admit sometimes is about my attitude,
Just tell me man,if not how i know where's my fault.

I just hope i can get bless from God,
I want a relationship,
I want a good friendship,
I want YOU......

Need Rescue.

Who got any memorizing tricks for Pendidikan Moral and Sejarah?
I need it badly,i had been stuck in my room for 2 days to study PM and SEJ,
But i still can get what they said!!! WTF

But good news for myself is i am starting to love Mathematics,
So i am trying to bucking up my knowledge and do my best!!!


(Very Boring recently,i need some eye candies.)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I Feel Lazy and Depress

Sigh.....i feel very lazy recently. 
Lazy to School,
Lazy to do Homework,
Lazy to Tuition,
Lazy to do Revision,
And many many more.

What should i do? I really have no idea.
My life make me feel suck,
Some blady idiots always simply create rumors,
And spread it throughout the school,
But what can i do,they own a mouth,
What they wanna talk is always beyond of my control.

I really do need someone to console and consult me,
But where did YOU go? I miss you,
Can you get my message? I can bravely say NO.
Because you are happy-ing with other guys,
So the only way i can do is Give Up.

Just pray hard for exam,
And waiting the god to pass by lol,
Good Luck Derrick Wan!!!!  
Gambateh!!! 

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Beating the Deadline

Still got 12 more weeks to SPM,i still haven't ready yet *shivering*.
But what i can do now is study whatever i can and be calm because i still need some time for myself because study for me is quite toilsome work lols.

Today as usual,i went to english tuition and i realize that ENGLISH is very important to us,despite my english is not good and very weak in grammer but i still learn to BLOG because i know blogging can help me to improve my english grammer,i always told myself "Must Willing To Learn".

English is only the subject that couldn't make me sleep,i love to attend my english classes in school and tuition center. My school english teacher Mrs Azaniza she's quite funny lady perhaps just a little joke then can brighten up her days and she is the only teacher can make me score A in my english paper,should thanks her.

Therefore,i improve a lot on my english speaking,reading and writing but listening i'm still sharpen on it because my listeng are freaking bad and slow. I can easily distract by other things such as Games,Cartoon,HOT CHICK,FACEBOOK and perhaps Twitter loads of distraction here haha!!!

Lastly,what i can say is Buddys Let's Work Hard and Study Smart Together.
Be the best among the best,Knowledge is power for us.
Peace!!! ^^ 

Monday, August 16, 2010

Poem Again


A Red Red Rose
Famous love poems by Robert Burns

O my Luve's like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in June;
O my Luve's like the melodie
That's sweetly played in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry:

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only Luve,
And fare thee weel awhile!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' it ware ten thousand mile.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

FRIENDSHIP

Okay,let me tell you what kind of friends i am having now. Some of them are smart like hell and some of them are lazy like hell that's all,but i don't mind to know new friends because i wanna be a socialize person,i want to do something with my aggressive way BUT some idiots are just asshole,they'll threaten you and act like a snobbish.Yeah they got loads of girlfriends and i don't even have one SO WHAT!!!


They will always help you to tackle a girl that you don't even know her,it make feel silly to myself because i know many people will comment about my characteristic behind me,some of them even will back stab you because they are very good pretender.
My best friends,won't me a lot,they only know how to teach me argue with Elder,Seniority and School teacher once you don't follow what they had teach you,they will simply create stupid rumors and spread all over the school said that you're a "TIMID" person. Hey come on man,i'm already 17 years old,do i still timid like a primary bilibary kids? NO WAY.

Why i don't follow what they said,because i know what i am going to do and what cannot do,i always think twice before i do something. I must tell myself,i shouldn't prejudice other people but my friends did they're childish by the way.

Actually,i am not a barbaric and rude person......Fuck,Damn,Heck and bla bla bla bad words is just a way to communicate with my friends,i know myself can't speak english very well but i always LEARN and i believe pratice makes perfect.


 Very interesting friendship quotes.

Love Poem

I fell in love with you
and then you broke my heart,
I knew never to love a player,
I was wrong from the start...
Loving you was like ripping out my heart.
I refused to look around me and see
all the terrible things you were doing to me,
I was in my own world and I didn't see all the trouble you were,
I was deeply in love.
Now that's all ruined, you see,
All because you played me,
You had looks, you had charm,
You were slick with your words,
You knew just what to say.
I was foolish to think
we were made for each other,
I always prayed you
would never love another,
I wanted us to always be with each other.
Loving a player is one of the
hardest things ever,
I have learned a lot
from my experiences with you,
My heart was broken into two.
I know now, as I look back on my past,
Dating a player will never last,
So, in my future I'll watch what I do,
I won't date anymore players,
But I'll still always love you.

Newbie post.

Hey,this is my first time blogging and i hope you guys can give me some comment about it.

Hmmm....here i tell my self characteristic.
I like to make jokes perhaps provoke someone at sometime well i'm not a monster and i wonder why girls or even boys will stay far away from me( Do i look scary) lol. I always try to be a very aggressive person to protect my loves one,i hope you can get this message. ^^

That's all i can say,have a nice day. =^^=

Hi,Everyone!