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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Story of Regret

There was this guy who believed very much in true love and decided to take his time to wait for his right girl to appear. He believed that there would definitely be someone special out there for him, but none came.
Every year at Christmas, his ex-girlfriend would return from Vancouver to look him up. He was aware that she still held some hope of re-kindling the past romance with him. He did not wish to mislead her in any way. So he would always get one of his girl friends to pose as his steady whenever she came back. That went on for several years and each year, the guy would get a different girl to pose as his romantic interest. So whenever the ex-girlfriend came to visit him, she would be led into believing that it was all over between her and the guy. The girl took all those rather well, often trying to casually tease him about his different girlfriends, or so, as it seemed! In fact, the girl often wept in secret whenever she saw him with another girl, but she was too proud to admit it. Still, every Christmas, she returned, hoping to re-kindle some form of romance. But each time, she returned to Vancouver feeling disappointed.
Finally she decided that she could not play that game any longer. Therefore, she confronted him and professed that after all those years, he was still the only man that she had ever loved. Although the guy knew of her feelings for him, he was still taken back and have never expected her to react that way. He always thought that she would slowly forget about him over time and come to terms that it was all over between them. Although he was touched by her undying love for him and wanted so much to accept her again, he remembered why he rejected her in the first place-she was not the one he wanted. So he hardened his heart and turned her down cruelly. Since then, three years have passed and the girl never return anymore. They never even wrote to each other. The guy went on with his life..... still searching for the one but somehow deep inside him, he missed the girl.
On the Christmas of 1995, he went to his friend's party alone. "Hey, how come all alone this year? Where are all your girlfriends? What happened to that Vancouver babe who joins you every Christmas?", asked one of his friend. He felt warm and comforted by his friend's queries about her, still he just surged on.
Then, he came upon one of his many girlfriends whom he once requested to pose as his steady. He wanted so much to ignore her ..... not that he was impolite, but because at that moment, he just didn't feel comfortable with those girlfriends anymore. It was almost like he was being judged by them. The girl saw him and shouted across the floor for him. Unable to avoid her, he went up to acknowledge her.
"Hi......how are you? Enjoying the party?" the girl asked.
"Sure.....yeah!", he replied.
She was slightly tipsy..... must be from the whiskey on her hand. She continued,
"Why...? Don't you need someone to pose as your girlfriend this year?" Then he answered, "No, there is no need for that anymore......"
Before he can continue, he was interrupted, "Oh yes! Must have found a girlfriend! You haven't been searching for one for the past years, right?" The man looked up, as if he has struck gold, his face beamed and looked directly at the drunken girl. He replied, "Yes......you are right! I haven't been looking for anyone for the past years."
With that, the man darted across the floor and out the door, leaving the lady in much bewilderment. He finally realized that he has already found his dream girl, and she was.....the Vancouver girl all along! The drunken lady has said something that awoken him.
All along he has found his girl. That was why he did not bother to look further when he realized she was not coming back. It was not any specific girl he was seeking! It was perfection that he wanted, and yes.....perfection!!
Relationship is something both parties should work on. Realizing that he had let away someone so important in his life, he decided to call her immediately. His whole mind was flooded with fear. He was afraid that she might have found someone new or no longer had the same feelings anymore..... For once, he felt the fear of losing someone.
As it was Christmas eve, the line was quite hard to get through, especially an overseas call. He tried again and again, never giving up. Finally, he got through......precisely at 1200 midnight. He confessed his love for her and the girl was moved to tears. It seemed that she never got over him! Even after so long, she was still waiting for him, never giving up.
He was so excited to meet her and to begin his new chapter of their lives. He decided to fly to Vancouver to join her. It was the happiest time of their lives! But their happy time was short-lived. Two days before he was supposed to fly to Vancouver, he received a call from her father. She had a head-on car collision with a drunken driver. She passed away after 6 hours in a coma.
The guy was devastated, as it was a complete loss. Why did fate played such cruel games with him? He cursed the heaven for taking her away from him, denying even one last look at her! How cruel he cursed! How he damned the Gods...!! How he hated himself....for taking so long to realize his mistake!! That was in 1996.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I don't want to stay in this place anymore

I wanna leave home,and go somewhere else alone,
I want to live myself,
Because i had did so much,
So i understand it,
Well,your words was quite mean,
But i know i deserve it.
So i wanna leave here,and go to overseas,
Have my own life,
BUT!!!
Dudes,please remember if you dislike me,then just get away from me,
Don't give me so much damages,i will sick of dealing with it,
Well,i know i am having miserable life right now,
And i hope can like my friends,
Don't have soooo many friends,
Yet they live peacefully and quietly,
I'm trying to be socializing person,
But can't perhaps my attitude and my mind,
You wouldn't know,because you wasn't beside me,
But god will know everything,God is always watching and take care of me
I always hope i can like a Pilot,fly up to the atmosphere and feeling the natural phenomenal,
I regret for everything i did since i was small,
But it's too late,times can't play back,
So what can i do? Ignorance? Tolerance? or Offence?
My mind was empty because i don't what to do,
I'm not finding excuses for myself,
But something will always wash my mind,
Malaysia,Kuala Lumpur is such a sad place for me,
Because i feel helpless when i need help,
I feel lonely when i'm alone,
But who knows? No one knows.
I try to laugh and keep in my heart.....but it doesn't work,
By the way,since you wanna draw a line between me and you,
I just support your idea.

But do remember my heart wasn't a ranking heart,
I only can put 1 person in my heart not 10 peoples,
Perhaps i'll find another one.


I always feel inadequate for what i'm having now,
And recently few lessons had taught me up,
I shouldn't be so GENTLEMEN anymore,
Because people will think i am affectation,
So no point to be it anymore,
Just become myself.
That's all i can say............

Bye Bye dudes!!!!

Monday, November 1, 2010

My Fault for Making Your Life a Scar

I don't mean to create a scar in your life,
But please another angle to look at my situation,
I'm not cheating you or what,
I just wanna your life better you know?
I know i had made the biggest mistake,
I shouldn't did at first,
Now i hurt you,but i am not purposely did it,
TRUST ME PLEASE!!!!
However things goes on,you're still my friend,
We are still friend!!!!
You can choose to hate me,
But don't list me with few of the idiots,
Because i'm not talking any lies to you,
You know that,i don't like your reply,
Because its so straight to me!
PLEASE OKAY?
Forgive my stupid attitude.
I'll stand by you quietly,
And pray for you,
I isn't the one you think,
So just beg for a forgiveness from you.




My life is so miserable.